I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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