Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
