Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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