did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
