Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
