You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
