please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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