Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
