Is it normal to miss your booty call?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
