I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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