Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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