hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
