Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
