Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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