Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
