She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
