this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
