Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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