Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
