I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
