So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
too bad you live with your parents still
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
