Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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