Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Two words: nipple clamps
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