and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
