You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
