Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
