But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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