Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
