C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
