I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
