just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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