So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
