I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
