if i died would you start the facebook group?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
