Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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