One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
