would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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