the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
