We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
