remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
she pinky promised me she was 18
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
