So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
