I'm going to jail i love you
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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