We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
