Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Randomize
