weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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