I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
