WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We're too hungover to prance.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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