I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
There's always time for handjobs
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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