just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
