How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
