I'm eating all of the evidence.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
